the mind ponders...TYJT for this.

1. The only person who is responsible for you is YOU. You can't let people make your decisions for you. Sure they can have influence, but you make the final decision.

2. Its only a mistake if you haven't learned anything from it.

3. Be grateful for the things you have in your life, they are there for a reason.

4. You don't have to get along with everyone or make everyone like you.

5. Most people operate out of selfish motivations.

6. Time doesn't heal everything, It's what you do with the time.

7. Worrying is useless, unless it motivates you to do something about it.

8. Life isn't always fair. Bad things happen to good people, you don't get everything you want, but you keep your head up and keep moving forward.

9. Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness. It's okay to let people know you are upset, angry, happy, afraid, etc.

10. You train people how to treat you. If you let people treat you bad or take advantage of you, they will. Stand up for yourself and speak up when something is bothering you.

11. Love makes you stupid.

12. There's always 3 sides to every story. Yours, theirs, and the truth.

13. You cannot control other people, situations or outcomes.

14. Being alone doesn't mean being lonely.

15. It's okay to break the rules once in a while.

16. Sometime what you've been looking for has been right in front of you the whole time.

17. The only person that can make you happy is YOU. Happiness is not a destination. It comes from within.

18. My mom is my best friend.

19. Sometimes we walk through the darkness so we learn to appreciate walking through the light. Life is precious and we shouldn't take it for granted.

20. 99.9% of the time, you can find the answer on Google.

21. Trust your gut. If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't.

22. If you don't know something, ask. Don't assume.

23. Uncomfortable underwear can ruin your day. Seriously.

24. Whenever you're worried about what other people think of you, you're really worried what you'll think of you.

25. Putting something off makes it instantly harder and more scary.

26. Nothing is impossible. If you fail, try again and try harder. If you really want it, work for it.

27. There is always hope.

.....I feel a little bit better now. Bye Blog.

Deja Vu.

I'm sitting here on my computer wondering what to type yet i have so much to think. I don't know who to talk to. I need some adivce because I don't know what to do anymore. It's so hard that it hurts and it makes my heart stop a beat. I feel like sometimes I will have a heart attack when that happens. It wouldn't be so bad to have one. Maybe it would help clear some of the pain away. I've never had somebody that I care about say to me that I annoy them. Maybe I've heard it if I was doing it on purpose. I just feel so shitty now. I wish I could be that perfect spark in that person's heart and mind. I wish I was perfect enough. I was afraid this was gonna happen. I'm only human. I can only fix what i'm capable of. Sorry if it's not good enough for you. I wish you can never have to be annoyed again.

"It will all get better in time.." - Leona Lewis

Stereo Love...

When you're gonna stop breaking my heart
I don't wanna be another one
Paying for the things I never done
Don't let go
Don't let go
To my love
Can I get to your soul
Can you get to my thoughts
Can you promise we won't let go
All the things that I need
All the things that you need
You can make it feel so real.
Cuz you can't deny
You've blown my mind
when I touch your body
I feel I'm losing control
Cuz you can't deny
You've blown my mind
When I see you baby
I just don't wanna let go
I hate to see you cry
Your smile is a beautiful lie
I hate to see you cry
My love is dying inside
I can fix all those lies
But baby, baby I run, but I'm running to you
You won't see me cry, I'm hiding inside
My heart is in pain but I'm smiling for you
--------------------------------------------------
When you're gonna stop breaking my heart
Don't let go
Don't let go
To my love
I hate to see you cry
Your smile is a beautiful lie
I hate to see you cry
My love is dying inside
I hate to see you cry
My love is dying inside
I can fix all those lies
But baby, baby I run, but I'm running to you
You won't see me cry, i'm hiding inside
My heart is in pain but I'm smiling for you
Oh baby I'll try to make the things right
I need you more than air when i'm not with you
Please don't ask me why, just kiss me this time
My only dream is about you and I.

I'M BACK?

Wow it's been so long since I've last posted anything in my blog. So much has passed since my last entry. I feel like I need to start this back up again just so it's "one" of the things that helps ease my mind.
First off I just wanna thank all the friends who've been really supportive and been there for me when I need you guys the most. You guys are what brings me up through the day and you I'm always there to do the same. You guys know who you are. I ain't gonna do some asianave shoutout crap. LOL

Well I can't wait to get back to the gym on a regular basis. I've been working a lot to keep me busy from all the stressful and crazy shit that's been happening in my life. It just sucks to see things fade away when you've put so much time and effort so make things right. I fuckin hate selfish people. It drives me insane . Especially when they dont realize what you doing for. I need to move on (again) because I know I'm better than that. I think I'm gonna spend a few months out of the picture so I can rejuvenate. I feel like I'm breaking down in little pieces like a puzzle and I just need someone to out me back together.

Still have the mind set to move out of Winnipeg. I'm sick of this city and I dont really think there is anything for me here. Three picks, Toronto, Calgary, Vancouver. I have til' the end of next year to decide. I want it because I love change. I love change because I love variety.

......wow just passed out..(next morning)

Bad things always happen to good people.

If you were to ask me why do good things happen to bad people, I would have no clue how to answer it. You ask me why do bad things happen to good people, I could probably think of many reasons. I guess sometimes you have to think to yourself "did I put myself in this situation? and could have I avoided it?" I know that I've done a lot of negative things in the past years but I'm a good example of this topic for this year. I've done so much good deeds this year that its not even funny. I'm known to be friendly and caring but for some weird reason there will be somebody at some point of direction ready to take you for granted or just plain ol' fuck you over. But I guess all you can hope for is that when the time comes, it's just gonna be so much better in the long run. Just don't know when that will be.

Some people are selfish and don't acknowledge the people that care about them so much. That's my problem. I've had this problem even when I was growing up in my teen years. I have never had anyone say to me that I'm selfish. But I think the more you do the good things, the more appreciation you expect. As much as I want to be selfish and only think of myself, I'd just be lying to everyone. That's one of the tough parts of being a caring person. There are things that we deserve and don't deserve. Judging by all the good things that I've done the past few months, I'd say that I deserve a whole lot more in return. One of the worst things in life is to lose someones respect. Some people just don't realize it until it's gone. I'd hate for someone to lose my respect if it came to that because I'm one of the most caring person around. Ask my friends and family. =D

In other news.........just finished watching one of Russell Peters stand videos. He's one funny muthaf....

Man I just started last week but I've noticed that I've been working myself more at the gym and at home getting into shape than I did for the whole last year. I feel great. I always wonder if looking back to when I first took working out seriously like a few years back and I didnt have shit happen to me, where would i stand now? I'm gonna try so hard not to stop again. Because it's such a shame what I went through when I didn't workout.

wow-wa-we-wah....

I'm hyped about GSP fighting again to defend the title against Fag Hardy. I think he has no chance to beat GSP. This Saturday!! Same with the Frank Mir and Shane Carwin fight. Although I think Frank Mir is a real douchebag I still want him to win so he can fight(again and again) my man Brock Lesnar.

This week has been a real positive week for me. I've moved on with some of the troubles in my life and picked up a new hobby that I used to have been never had the motivation to do it. Going to the gym and just being in shape. I'm doing home exercises to which make me feel so good about my health. I haven't felt like this in so long. Today was the first day I stepped into Shapes and let me tell ya.. f*ck was I sore at the end but I love that feeling. Once I gain more mass I will look into doing a little tanning because it's not bad to look a little darker. I've set my bar so I'm gonna go a little hardcore for a full month. If I can physically notice any good difference then I'm gonna be happy. And to you out there, I'm glad we've became really good friends even after all the differences that has happened. I still love you deep in my heart as a person and don't ever forget that you're awesome. I feel great. And like GSP said:

"Have a new haircut, you look good...and when you look good you feel good.....and when you feel good you do good."

Until next time, keep fit and have fun.

Peace.

Good guys always win.... except in Socom. haha

Well It's been a long time since I've made another post on my blog. 2010 hasn't been the greatest of them all. It's actually been one of the worst starts. The shittiest part is that I don't feel any of it as fault. The things I do and did were all for the ones I love dearly. I don't think I've ever cared so much this year than any other year. Yes I'm 26 so maybe it's just part of growing up. I really need to get my effin stuff together though. Normally the things I do would beneifit more on my loved ones more than myself. I don't think I was raised that way.. I just think I created myself to be that way because of the heart I have. I'm a sucker for love. Who ain't right? People tell me to be selfish and to not care so much but it's hard because I've seen relationships like that and it NEVER works. Never. Two sides of the relationship have to balance and care for each other equally. If not, then it's a relationshieeeet. =P ..I was told that bad things always happen to the good guys which is true but how I think of it is that I'm due for better things to happen in the future. This is for the people who are selfish, stupid, and take people for granted... "You'll never realize it until it's gone."

The sun is starting to come out now which is awesome.. but I heard it was gonna snow again one more time. I don't remember when was the last time I went to the beach and shit like that. Who wants to come to Miami Beach with me? No not the Manitoba one. haha

Man on man it's been so long since the last time I was pursuing some kind of path for poker. I honestly don't know where I hit that wall to not continue it. I was doing so well until I hit that (brick,metal,electric,anything painful) wall and my passion for it just faded....temporarily. haha
I'm looking to start it up again but I have to pick my moments to where I can fit in again. How many people from Winnipeg can say they've played and met with poker pros like Daniel Negreanu, Vanessa Rousso, Antonio Esfandiari, Scotty Nguyen, and Johnny Chan? I had the pleasure of meeting with Jerry Yang who was the 2007 Main Event winner and guy has a heart bigger than mine. He's all about family, supporting kids for fundraising and donations. He's a great guy. How many can also say that they've competed in tournaments like the PCA(Pokerstars Caribbean Adventure) @ Atlantis Bahamas, $10K Main event in LasVegas and has a WSOP cash under his name? From what I can remember, I won my very first poker tournament in a reserve casino just outside of South Beach Miami, Florida. It was a smaller tournament but I think that was my motivation to continue playing poker. I remember coming back to Winnipeg and played in 3 tournaments at our local Club Regent Casino. Made 2 final tables out of the three i've played. Was a regular at the 5-10 no limit cash table and 10-20 limit table. So after all that ... I say I've done pretty well. I still can't get over how I lost in the Main Event. I will never get over it. I should have been a TV because that was a TV hand. haha

Playoffs for Senior Mens is coming 2-3 weeks so I have to get back into shape again.
Can't wait for the upset on River Blues. lol

On a last note. I hope everything will be okay with you.
Peace.

-Eldz